Christmas specials and seasons greetings are for sissy morons. More importantly, people must know the truth about the worst perpetrator of the foolishness that is the Christmas season: the fat man in the red suit himself, Santa. It is a good thing you have come to my fantastic website, or you may not have been informed about the gaieties of Santa the fat bastard Claus (pronounced clous).
If you are a sissy moron, you have probably believed in Santa at some point in your life. Why people thought up this fat bastard to begin with is beyond me. Regardless, if you partake in or ever have partaken in the idiocies related to the Santa lie, you are a sissy moron. If you do not fit into this category yet, don't get excited. You are most likely still a sissy moron.
In the following photograph of Santa, several observations can be made.
- Santa is a fat bastard.
- Santa is probably gay--honestly. He wears a bright red hat and suit with fluffy white crap all over it--not to mention he lives with elves.
- He steals your cookies.
- Santa does not wear pants.
